(APRIL 2, HAVANA, CUBA) Just one day after April fools, Raul Castro, brother to el jeffe-Fidel, has made unprecedented changes to the Cuban system including the commercial sale of DVD players, cell phones, and other soul crushing devices.
In response to the breaking news, citizens of nearby Haiti responded with Jealousy.
Pierre LaDuke, "Us Haitians have been living under a more free society than the Cubans, yet the manufacturers in Japan, and America still have not exported DVD players to Haiti". LaDuke angrily continues "Why? I ask why?"
Why? Well honestly, the U.S. doesn't give a damn. They want to protect their investments. Haiti is not an investment. It is a toilet. However, everyone deserves their fair share at watching a decent picture.
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